Bryan couldn't fall asleep when he needed to last night, so the kids and I went to church on our own today. I am so grateful to everyone that helped me with the kids, and especially Jayce so that I could enjoy the lessons. I was really touched during Relief Society (LDS Women's Organization) and the lesson that was given. I was reminded again, how much I rely on my faith to get through every day life. Without it, I would not have the confidence and joy I have. With all the daily adversity I face, it is a blessing to know it is a blessing, and a strength, that it is not forever, and that my Heavenly Father is aware, and sends me constant comfort and angels. Without the help and support of people in my ward (LDS congregation) I would not have gotten as much out of it.
Three things I am grateful for:
1. It truly takes a village, and I am surrounded by loving people who understand that.
2. Even though Bryan needed sleep, he was able to get up in time to put the lasagna in for dinner. One less stress for me.
3. Sunday evening golf. Both watching on TV, and live in our living room thanks to two active ball whacking toddlers.
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
7/20/14
11/19/11
Gold to Refine
I can't believe it is Thanksgiving time again! This makes me happy! We have so much to be grateful for. As I have said recently, amidst all the trials, miracles seem to be filling my life. Bryan and I have been trying to get pregnant for about two years, and a little extra. It has been very emotional on both of us. Hard on Bryan, because he would like more than anything to have a child of his own, and especially a boy, to carry on his family name. Hard on me, though it may sound selfish, being a diligent birth-mom, and having made the decision to place my baby boy for adoption, knowing I could have taken care of him, but knowing it was what the Lord wanted and the miracle he brought to the world around him. Now, wondering why I couldn't have a miracle for myself.
There are a few people who knew of the situation, and I am forever grateful for their ongoing support and prayers. One of those people is actually Jen, Tyler's mom. I told her of my heartache, and she seemed to understand my pain. I feel so blessed to have someone who truly understands, and yet cares so deeply about me and my happiness.
Finally in September we went to the doctor with our concerns. She ordered tests. The tests came back in mid September, and they came back bearing bad news. We were told that we would likely not be able to conceive without invitro fertilization. This of course, is very costly, and not a guarantee. So, though it wasn't completely impossible for pregnancy on our own, the 2% odds were not in our favor.
My doctor was really supportive. We were touched by her reaction. She said she would love to continue to be my woman's care doctor. She also said, "I don't know your religious background, but there are two woman in the Bible who were told they wouldn't be able to have kids, and God provided them with children. Don't give up completely." I am grateful to have a good doctor, who seemed to be inspired to say what she did at the time.
Throughout this whole ordeal, my mom has been a great support. Because of the recent premature birth and of my older brother, who died shortly after birth, the doctors told her that she should go on birth control for at least three months. She refused. A previous diagnosis had been given that she did not have but a year that her body could sustain a pregnancy. Her response to the doctor was, "If God wants me pregnant, then I will get pregnant." I was born 361 days after my brother. Just four days shy of the one-year deadline. My mom has told me this story several times, being the miracle story of my birth, but it really hit home now.
It was hard for Bryan and I, but we accepted it. No longer did we have to plan on a bigger vehicle, or a bigger home. No longer were we calling out names we would see on TV, to cross as possible baby names. We adjusted. Over the next couple weeks, the baby names on TV became dog names. We would get more dogs.
It was now October. We all the normal October things. We put up Halloween decorations, bought Halloween costumes, and started gearing up for Bryan's parent's visit the weekend before Halloween. His parents were scheduled to fly in late Thursday, October 27th, and we planned on seeing them first thing Friday morning. To my dismay, I was sick all day Wednesday, with some kind of stomach bug. Thursday, still sick, I declared it the flu. Company was coming, and my house was a mess. Not only that, I'm likely contagious. What bad timing!
In my frustration, I started texting my mom. After a bit of correspondence, she sends me a texts that says, "Don wants to know if you are pregnant." Now, this was slightly awkward. I mean, with everything we had recently been through, how could my step dad crack a joke about me being pregnant? I let it go, and just responded with, "Not likely, but if I ever am, you will be second (technically third) to know!"
When I got up to use the restroom, I decided to take a pregnancy test just for kicks. After all, I had a bunch, expiring in January, and I could then take a picture and send it directly to Don as proof. That would teach him! I mean, who (especially male) wants to look at a used pregnancy test?
I took the test, and had to look at it several times. I even reread the directions, thinking I was misinterpreting it.
It was positive.
I didn't believe it at first. Sometimes it is still hard to believe. I went to the doctor as soon as possible, as this wasn't something that was suppose to happen, I wanted to make sure it wasn't all a joke. When the doctor found out why we were there, she was absolutely elated. She used the phrase, "tickled pink!" It has since been confirmed by the doctor and by ultrasound, with visual and audio heart beat. I am due June 21st 2012. Which means the baby was conceived the same week the doctor gave us the bad news test results.
Apparently Heavenly Father has different plans for this little family. He has been there all along. He heard our prayers, and was just waiting to bless us. After all the heartache we had been through, it seems He just wanted us to let go. Once we did, and put our faith in Him, then came the miracle.
"Fear not I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and do still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand.
When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie
My grace all sufficient shall be thy supply
The flame shall not hurt thee, I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine."
("How Firm A Foundation," LDS Hymnbook, #85, verses 3, 5. See also Isaiah 41:10)
There are a few people who knew of the situation, and I am forever grateful for their ongoing support and prayers. One of those people is actually Jen, Tyler's mom. I told her of my heartache, and she seemed to understand my pain. I feel so blessed to have someone who truly understands, and yet cares so deeply about me and my happiness.
Finally in September we went to the doctor with our concerns. She ordered tests. The tests came back in mid September, and they came back bearing bad news. We were told that we would likely not be able to conceive without invitro fertilization. This of course, is very costly, and not a guarantee. So, though it wasn't completely impossible for pregnancy on our own, the 2% odds were not in our favor.
My doctor was really supportive. We were touched by her reaction. She said she would love to continue to be my woman's care doctor. She also said, "I don't know your religious background, but there are two woman in the Bible who were told they wouldn't be able to have kids, and God provided them with children. Don't give up completely." I am grateful to have a good doctor, who seemed to be inspired to say what she did at the time.
Throughout this whole ordeal, my mom has been a great support. Because of the recent premature birth and of my older brother, who died shortly after birth, the doctors told her that she should go on birth control for at least three months. She refused. A previous diagnosis had been given that she did not have but a year that her body could sustain a pregnancy. Her response to the doctor was, "If God wants me pregnant, then I will get pregnant." I was born 361 days after my brother. Just four days shy of the one-year deadline. My mom has told me this story several times, being the miracle story of my birth, but it really hit home now.
It was hard for Bryan and I, but we accepted it. No longer did we have to plan on a bigger vehicle, or a bigger home. No longer were we calling out names we would see on TV, to cross as possible baby names. We adjusted. Over the next couple weeks, the baby names on TV became dog names. We would get more dogs.
It was now October. We all the normal October things. We put up Halloween decorations, bought Halloween costumes, and started gearing up for Bryan's parent's visit the weekend before Halloween. His parents were scheduled to fly in late Thursday, October 27th, and we planned on seeing them first thing Friday morning. To my dismay, I was sick all day Wednesday, with some kind of stomach bug. Thursday, still sick, I declared it the flu. Company was coming, and my house was a mess. Not only that, I'm likely contagious. What bad timing!
In my frustration, I started texting my mom. After a bit of correspondence, she sends me a texts that says, "Don wants to know if you are pregnant." Now, this was slightly awkward. I mean, with everything we had recently been through, how could my step dad crack a joke about me being pregnant? I let it go, and just responded with, "Not likely, but if I ever am, you will be second (technically third) to know!"
When I got up to use the restroom, I decided to take a pregnancy test just for kicks. After all, I had a bunch, expiring in January, and I could then take a picture and send it directly to Don as proof. That would teach him! I mean, who (especially male) wants to look at a used pregnancy test?
I took the test, and had to look at it several times. I even reread the directions, thinking I was misinterpreting it.
It was positive.
I didn't believe it at first. Sometimes it is still hard to believe. I went to the doctor as soon as possible, as this wasn't something that was suppose to happen, I wanted to make sure it wasn't all a joke. When the doctor found out why we were there, she was absolutely elated. She used the phrase, "tickled pink!" It has since been confirmed by the doctor and by ultrasound, with visual and audio heart beat. I am due June 21st 2012. Which means the baby was conceived the same week the doctor gave us the bad news test results.
Apparently Heavenly Father has different plans for this little family. He has been there all along. He heard our prayers, and was just waiting to bless us. After all the heartache we had been through, it seems He just wanted us to let go. Once we did, and put our faith in Him, then came the miracle.
"Fear not I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and do still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand.
When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie
My grace all sufficient shall be thy supply
The flame shall not hurt thee, I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine."
("How Firm A Foundation," LDS Hymnbook, #85, verses 3, 5. See also Isaiah 41:10)
11/1/11
Masterpiece
I feel so blessed with where life is right now. It makes me slightly nervous to admit it, knowing one day trials will come. But I figure, if we don't count our blessings, then they will be that much harder to look back on when we need something to hold on to when the hard times come.
I am grateful for miracles that happen in life. I have learned and relearned, and currently learning, that our Heavenly Father doesn't just give us half the miracle. He gives whole miracles. For example, my decision of adoption. That was a difficult choice, but a spiritual right choice. I knew it would bring both me and Tyler the greatest happiness. Finding his parents was a miracle, but how on earth was I ever going to be truly happy and go on in my life, finding my happily ever after? I did not know how it would work out, but somehow it continues to. And it seems, things continue to happen in my life, that bring me back to that life altering event, and I see how it is all connected. Though, He may give us one piece of the puzzle at a time, after patience and faith does the full miracle come. And it seems, no matter how many chapters we come to in life, all of the small miracles, have been woven themselves into a magnificent endless and eternal masterpiece. And He is the Creator.
I am grateful for miracles that happen in life. I have learned and relearned, and currently learning, that our Heavenly Father doesn't just give us half the miracle. He gives whole miracles. For example, my decision of adoption. That was a difficult choice, but a spiritual right choice. I knew it would bring both me and Tyler the greatest happiness. Finding his parents was a miracle, but how on earth was I ever going to be truly happy and go on in my life, finding my happily ever after? I did not know how it would work out, but somehow it continues to. And it seems, things continue to happen in my life, that bring me back to that life altering event, and I see how it is all connected. Though, He may give us one piece of the puzzle at a time, after patience and faith does the full miracle come. And it seems, no matter how many chapters we come to in life, all of the small miracles, have been woven themselves into a magnificent endless and eternal masterpiece. And He is the Creator.
10/9/10
Something Else to Learn
I feel so blessed. This year has been incredible. I can't even tell you how much I have learned about life and it is already October. Life sure flies by. I have learned that marriage is hard, but a good one is totally worth the effort. I have discovered how good I have it. Yes, it has taken me a year and a half to figure that out. I am not used to having a good marriage, or for lack of better words, a good husband. I have had to learn, that he is good, and he is not like the others. Yes, I have learned the hard way. But, I do not think there is a better way to learn it having been through what I have in the past. My husband is amazing, patient, and kind. I feel so blessed to have him. And what we have is so good. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder how I got so lucky. He is just so easy to love. I absolutely adore him, and I LOVE being his wife.
I have learned that it is the simple things that make a difference. For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with just being content with my life. I have learned over the last couple months, that it is okay to take it with the punches. Life doesn't have to be perfect all the time. I don't have to be perfect all the time. If there is one thing my husband has taught me, it is that, sometimes, if you just let the little things go, and allow life happen, it will surprise you, and the things you worry about will turn out just fine.
I have learned, once again that the Lord will see us through. These past several months I have been dealing with a lot of different things on my plate. They range from emotional, and physical to spiritual. I have been through the grinder it seems between being in regular physical therapy, and coming home to have the energy to take care of two busy kids, and a hard-working husband. And then still find time for me, and a social life. I have really struggled with this balancing act for several months, and through a lot of prayers and faith, along with trial and error, I can see that, even though I thought it was impossible, I feel as though, the success is finally coming, and so is that balance I so desperately wanted.
Even though not all my entries will start or turn out to be serious, heartfelt with a lesson to be learned at the end, I can take it as a reminder, that it is okay to find joy in the simple things, even if it is a simple blog entry about something a child does. After all, children are one of the greatest blessings we can have in this life. (Especially my children)
Though, I do not have it all figured out, consider this to be my continuing journey to find that place, that balance, with no matter what comes my way. Even if there will be things I have to relearn, there will always be something to learn. And maybe this entry, as my first, is more for me, so that I have it to look back on as I go, when things get hard, and it's hard to see what the Lord is trying to teach me, that I'll have something good to say when all is said and done.
I have learned that it is the simple things that make a difference. For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with just being content with my life. I have learned over the last couple months, that it is okay to take it with the punches. Life doesn't have to be perfect all the time. I don't have to be perfect all the time. If there is one thing my husband has taught me, it is that, sometimes, if you just let the little things go, and allow life happen, it will surprise you, and the things you worry about will turn out just fine.
I have learned, once again that the Lord will see us through. These past several months I have been dealing with a lot of different things on my plate. They range from emotional, and physical to spiritual. I have been through the grinder it seems between being in regular physical therapy, and coming home to have the energy to take care of two busy kids, and a hard-working husband. And then still find time for me, and a social life. I have really struggled with this balancing act for several months, and through a lot of prayers and faith, along with trial and error, I can see that, even though I thought it was impossible, I feel as though, the success is finally coming, and so is that balance I so desperately wanted.
Even though not all my entries will start or turn out to be serious, heartfelt with a lesson to be learned at the end, I can take it as a reminder, that it is okay to find joy in the simple things, even if it is a simple blog entry about something a child does. After all, children are one of the greatest blessings we can have in this life. (Especially my children)
Though, I do not have it all figured out, consider this to be my continuing journey to find that place, that balance, with no matter what comes my way. Even if there will be things I have to relearn, there will always be something to learn. And maybe this entry, as my first, is more for me, so that I have it to look back on as I go, when things get hard, and it's hard to see what the Lord is trying to teach me, that I'll have something good to say when all is said and done.
2/1/10
If Only
It seems like I always had so much on my mind, and so much insight to share, and now it seems as though life is just busy and we are just experiencing the same old stuff. Maybe that is my problem. It really can't be a good thing. Usually I am so spiritually minded with a lot of things to share with the world. I mean, heck, anyone who knows me at all knows that I have been sharing my story on the internet since I was a sophomore in High School. That is 12 and a half years ago now. Though, it is funny, as I recall, my website always slowed massively down whenever I was married. I believe that is the hardest things for me, in motherhood and marriage... I often get to a point where I feel as though I am so busy focused on everyone else's daily happenings that I seem to lose my mind in the process.
I really need to get in the habit of writing when my life starts to get bland. Because once I start typing, something special seems to come out.
The poem I am about to share, was written five years ago. Which, if you ask me, seems like a completely different lifetime. So, even though this poem isn't really how I am feeling right now, I think many of us have bad days or bad moments when it seems it could be this way sooner or later. Plus, I am sure many of us, man or woman, can relate to it on some level. It is that powerful calm you get that washes over you in pleading with the Lord, knowing that everything is okay, including you.
Since I just gave a talk this past Sunday on prayer, I have been thinking a lot about it. This poem isn't about the desperation, but about the peace that comes after the trial, and putting your faith in the Lord.
If Only
If only I could see
Who I really am
Dig deep into my heart
And pull out a gem
If only I could be
That person that you'd see
A lady full of happiness
And sincere integrity
I used to be so strong
I used to really believe
But now my faith is fading
And my soul is lingering
So Father will you help me?
Help me to see
Find the beauty deep within
And who I want to be
I want to be thy servant
I want to be thy friend
Help me to know how
To grasp and hold on to thy hand
Father, will you teach me?
To be the woman that's enough
A good mother to thy children
And a wife that's full of love
I want to be an angel
Who's guided from above
My spirit to be lifted
I want to feel thy love
Dearest Heavenly Father
I know that you are near
You've put your arms around me
And listened to my prayer
Someday I will be
The woman that you see
A queen inside thy kingdom
For all eternity.
By the way, I do not keep track of what I have shared online and what I haven't, so if you have read this before, well, guess what...you needed to read it again! :)
9/6/08
He Won't Let Me Fail Them
I wasn't going to blog about this. But I think I need to, just to get it out. Minus a few really bright spots in my week, this week has been really dark and hard for me. Usually by the time I am done writing, it turns to something positive, so hopefully that will happen.
Last Sunday was complete chaos at church. Laci was absolutely rambunctious in sacrament meeting. At one point, she needed to go to the bathroom. Usually I send her with Sammie. So that is what I did. Well that didn't work, they got out the door and Sammie came back in, saying Laci wanted me. So I got up, without thinking and started walking toward the door to help the situation. The next thing I know I am face planted on the floor in the middle of the isle. A few people offered to help me up. I got up and walked outside, I was so embarassed. I took Laci to the bathroom, luckily some ladies from the ward came in to check on us. Laci was refusing to even go in the stall and go to the bathroom. Then she put up a fight when we tried to go back in and I didn't have my chair.
She continued to be wiggly through the rest of sacrament, I was glad when it was finally over.
Then, 5 minutes before RS started, Laci was finally convinced to go to primary. She kept throwing a tantrum on the floor in the middle of the primary room. It was absolutely horrible. She hasn't been going to primary very well at all lately, and I have given up on knowing what to do anymore.
Tuesday was my birthday party, look at my previous blog for that. It was one of the highlights of my week.
When I got home Tuesday night, my throat started hurting again. By the end of the night, my voice was gone. I went to bed and woke up the next morning, all congested with a fever. Though the congestion has died down, my voice is still shot. But yay, I got a cold without turning dreadfully ill!
Wednesday was my birthday, and spent it sick. I didn't leave the house. But I have awesome friends, it was still a great day.
Thursday, I continued to be sick, I just relaxed, and just let Laci hang out and do her thing all day, the house was trashed by the end of the day. But I do think that is one reason why I am better now. I RELAXED.
That night, JoAnn came and helped me clean, YAY! And the RS stopped over. They asked me if i wanted help in church. I told them I would think about it. I need the help, I know. And I know, they aren't trying to judge me at all, and they just see a need. They are willing to sit with us and take Laci out if she needs too. But I just feel so inadequate. Laci is so big now, and strong, that I cannot battle her anymore. I feel unfit, and just not up to the challenge. I am trying really hard to remember that the Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle, but this week has been hard for me.
I am not one that usually gets down easy, in fact I am being really out of character by posting this. I went and talked to my institute teacher on Friday, he gave me a blessing and some counsel. He reminded me of the words of Gordon B. Hinckley, that single mothers of young children have the hardest job there is, and that there is no way it is done without angels and constant care of a loving Heavenly Father.
I know that is true, everyone who reads my blog, knows I know that is true.
Tonight, Laci took a dry erase marker to the wall in their room, and I hit a breaking point. If it is not one thing, it's another. I need a break. I just want to get away and clear my head. It has just been a very trying week for me. I don't even want to go to church tomorrow. I know He will carry me through, He always does. I just need to be patient and keep going. Laci starts school Monday. That will give me some relief. But, I still think a break would be good.
He loves me, I will make it. He loves my girls, as much as I do, and I know He would not have entrusted them to me, if I was not capable of fulfilling that calling. Motherhood is the most important thing to me I have. I am so grateful to be a mom, and given a fair opportunity to raise these special spirits. The Lord knows what He is doing, even if I have no clue how to get through some days. But I will. And that is what matters.
A friend of mine from HS sent me a quote in an email on Facebook earlier this week. It has been a good reminder for me.
“Please remember one thing. If our lives and our faith are centered upon Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong. On the other hand, if our lives are not centered on the Savior and his teachings, no other success can ever be permanently right.”(President Howard W. Hunter)
Even though, I may feel like somewhat of a failure today, He disagrees, and He won't let me fail them.
See, I told you it would have a happy ending.
Last Sunday was complete chaos at church. Laci was absolutely rambunctious in sacrament meeting. At one point, she needed to go to the bathroom. Usually I send her with Sammie. So that is what I did. Well that didn't work, they got out the door and Sammie came back in, saying Laci wanted me. So I got up, without thinking and started walking toward the door to help the situation. The next thing I know I am face planted on the floor in the middle of the isle. A few people offered to help me up. I got up and walked outside, I was so embarassed. I took Laci to the bathroom, luckily some ladies from the ward came in to check on us. Laci was refusing to even go in the stall and go to the bathroom. Then she put up a fight when we tried to go back in and I didn't have my chair.
She continued to be wiggly through the rest of sacrament, I was glad when it was finally over.
Then, 5 minutes before RS started, Laci was finally convinced to go to primary. She kept throwing a tantrum on the floor in the middle of the primary room. It was absolutely horrible. She hasn't been going to primary very well at all lately, and I have given up on knowing what to do anymore.
Tuesday was my birthday party, look at my previous blog for that. It was one of the highlights of my week.
When I got home Tuesday night, my throat started hurting again. By the end of the night, my voice was gone. I went to bed and woke up the next morning, all congested with a fever. Though the congestion has died down, my voice is still shot. But yay, I got a cold without turning dreadfully ill!
Wednesday was my birthday, and spent it sick. I didn't leave the house. But I have awesome friends, it was still a great day.
Thursday, I continued to be sick, I just relaxed, and just let Laci hang out and do her thing all day, the house was trashed by the end of the day. But I do think that is one reason why I am better now. I RELAXED.
That night, JoAnn came and helped me clean, YAY! And the RS stopped over. They asked me if i wanted help in church. I told them I would think about it. I need the help, I know. And I know, they aren't trying to judge me at all, and they just see a need. They are willing to sit with us and take Laci out if she needs too. But I just feel so inadequate. Laci is so big now, and strong, that I cannot battle her anymore. I feel unfit, and just not up to the challenge. I am trying really hard to remember that the Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle, but this week has been hard for me.
I am not one that usually gets down easy, in fact I am being really out of character by posting this. I went and talked to my institute teacher on Friday, he gave me a blessing and some counsel. He reminded me of the words of Gordon B. Hinckley, that single mothers of young children have the hardest job there is, and that there is no way it is done without angels and constant care of a loving Heavenly Father.
I know that is true, everyone who reads my blog, knows I know that is true.
Tonight, Laci took a dry erase marker to the wall in their room, and I hit a breaking point. If it is not one thing, it's another. I need a break. I just want to get away and clear my head. It has just been a very trying week for me. I don't even want to go to church tomorrow. I know He will carry me through, He always does. I just need to be patient and keep going. Laci starts school Monday. That will give me some relief. But, I still think a break would be good.
He loves me, I will make it. He loves my girls, as much as I do, and I know He would not have entrusted them to me, if I was not capable of fulfilling that calling. Motherhood is the most important thing to me I have. I am so grateful to be a mom, and given a fair opportunity to raise these special spirits. The Lord knows what He is doing, even if I have no clue how to get through some days. But I will. And that is what matters.
A friend of mine from HS sent me a quote in an email on Facebook earlier this week. It has been a good reminder for me.
“Please remember one thing. If our lives and our faith are centered upon Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong. On the other hand, if our lives are not centered on the Savior and his teachings, no other success can ever be permanently right.”(President Howard W. Hunter)
Even though, I may feel like somewhat of a failure today, He disagrees, and He won't let me fail them.
See, I told you it would have a happy ending.
8/29/08
He is My Best Friend
Dictionary.com defines “friend”…
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.
I have been blessed with lots of friends in my life time. I have been blessed also, with a great talent in keeping in touch with friends over a long period of time, no matter the distance. Friends from elementary school, high school, youth conferences, internet, summer camps, old neighborhoods… the list goes on. Many of them I have not seen for a very long time, yet we remain close. Oft times, I come across the getting-to-know you question, “Who is your best friend?” and in response, I always think of five or six people (most of which I have not seen in quite a while).
Well today, someone else came to my mind.
I really wonder what it will be like when I get to the next life.
I cannot even imagine the reunion I will have with my Savior. If he is my best friend now, how close were we in the preexistence? If he is my best friend now, how glorious will that reunion be in the life after? Will we talk of how much we missed each other? Will we talk of memories from the past?
Will I say, “Remember when I was so frustrated with this, and then you came a long and made it all better?”
Will he say, “Melody, remember when you went through that? I wanted to do so much more for you, but I had to let you learn. And though it may not seem so, I never left your side. Now look how far you’ve come. It is so good to see you again!”
D&C 121:7-9
7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.
9 Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.
I have been blessed with lots of friends in my life time. I have been blessed also, with a great talent in keeping in touch with friends over a long period of time, no matter the distance. Friends from elementary school, high school, youth conferences, internet, summer camps, old neighborhoods… the list goes on. Many of them I have not seen for a very long time, yet we remain close. Oft times, I come across the getting-to-know you question, “Who is your best friend?” and in response, I always think of five or six people (most of which I have not seen in quite a while).
Well today, someone else came to my mind.
I really wonder what it will be like when I get to the next life.
I cannot even imagine the reunion I will have with my Savior. If he is my best friend now, how close were we in the preexistence? If he is my best friend now, how glorious will that reunion be in the life after? Will we talk of how much we missed each other? Will we talk of memories from the past?
Will I say, “Remember when I was so frustrated with this, and then you came a long and made it all better?”
Will he say, “Melody, remember when you went through that? I wanted to do so much more for you, but I had to let you learn. And though it may not seem so, I never left your side. Now look how far you’ve come. It is so good to see you again!”
D&C 121:7-9
7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.
9 Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.
6/29/08
Keep Moving. The End Is Near
I am not really sure where to begin. I just decided to sit down and start typing. I am sure there are other topics of writing I should be typing up for your viewing pleasure right now, yet I feel impressed to share my thoughts.
I know God lives, and that He loves us.
I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the one true church on the earth today.
I know we are led by a true and living prophet, Thomas S. Monson.
I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet and that he did see God the Father and His son, Jesus Christ when he knelt in prayer in that sacred grove of trees in New York state.
I know Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon through the power of God. I know the Book of Mormon is a true book, and in it we can find eternal happiness. I know we can learn for ourselves that it is true, and that knowledge can truly make us happy.
I know my Savior lives and loves me. I know I am a child of God, and that in a time before this earth, I lived with Him, along with every other person on this earth. I know we were sent to this earth for a purpose, to experience mortality, and to learn. In that, we may be prepared to live with God again.
I know that families can be together forever, through the sealing power of the priesthood. I know that with it, after this life, we will have the opportunity to see our loved ones once again and to be with them forever.
I know that one day, when this life is through, I will be resurrected. This life is so small in the eternal timeline of our Father's plan. That one day, all the mental anguish, all the pain and suffering, all the physical imperfections and frailties which I carry, will be lifted, and I will be perfected in and through Him, Jesus Christ.
Have you ever thought about what you will do first? In the day you are resurrected? I think about it everyday, in fact, I have a list that has been growing since I was about 13. Some of the things on that list include:
There is nothing wrong with having something to look forward to. What better way to get through life?
I am glad I have the knowledge that I do. That I know who I am, and where I am going. And I am working on getting there, a little bit at a time. Though I may not be perfect, and may be literally crawling along some days, at least I am moving. The end is near.
Now, that's the spirit! Don'tcha think? :)
I know God lives, and that He loves us.
I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the one true church on the earth today.
I know we are led by a true and living prophet, Thomas S. Monson.
I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet and that he did see God the Father and His son, Jesus Christ when he knelt in prayer in that sacred grove of trees in New York state.
I know Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon through the power of God. I know the Book of Mormon is a true book, and in it we can find eternal happiness. I know we can learn for ourselves that it is true, and that knowledge can truly make us happy.
I know my Savior lives and loves me. I know I am a child of God, and that in a time before this earth, I lived with Him, along with every other person on this earth. I know we were sent to this earth for a purpose, to experience mortality, and to learn. In that, we may be prepared to live with God again.
I know that families can be together forever, through the sealing power of the priesthood. I know that with it, after this life, we will have the opportunity to see our loved ones once again and to be with them forever.
I know that one day, when this life is through, I will be resurrected. This life is so small in the eternal timeline of our Father's plan. That one day, all the mental anguish, all the pain and suffering, all the physical imperfections and frailties which I carry, will be lifted, and I will be perfected in and through Him, Jesus Christ.
Have you ever thought about what you will do first? In the day you are resurrected? I think about it everyday, in fact, I have a list that has been growing since I was about 13. Some of the things on that list include:
- Climb a tree
- Play a game of basketball
- Swing Dance
There is nothing wrong with having something to look forward to. What better way to get through life?
I am glad I have the knowledge that I do. That I know who I am, and where I am going. And I am working on getting there, a little bit at a time. Though I may not be perfect, and may be literally crawling along some days, at least I am moving. The end is near.
Now, that's the spirit! Don'tcha think? :)
5/15/08
He Sends Me Angels
I can't believe it has been one year since I married Ben, and nine months since he walked out. Though, this year has not been anything like I expected, I feel so blessed and grateful to be where I am today.
I remember being in the temple one year ago, getting ready to be sealed, and having the overwelming feeling that my family (on both sides of the veil) was watching over me, and very aware of what was happening in my life. That experience has been one of those things that has gotten me through this year. I know I have never been alone, and I know I never will be.
This year has been hard, I will not deny that. Carrying a baby for nine months and taking care of two energetic girls and myself on my own(with the help of the Lord) has not been easy. Making the decision to place my little boy for adoption, and following through with that decision is the hardest thing I have ever (and hopefully will ever) face. But, I have been blessed with good people in my life, a new start in a new town, a friendly and loving ward, good friends, family and neighbors. I wouldn't change it for the world.
I have had many people say to me "I don't know how you do it, Melody. I take care of my kids by myself for one night and I go crazy, you do it every day." The truth is, I have never really felt alone. I know it is not me getting myself through each day but it's the faith and knowledge that I will be carried through. There are some nights when I lay my head to my pillow and think to myself, "how did I get through today?" There is only one answer to that question.
He sends me angels.
1/13/08
Prayerful Decision
I don’t really know where to begin with this blog. There is so much that needs to be said, and a lot of feelings that need to be accurately expressed. I have decided to place my baby boy for adoption. I have been wrestling with this decision since the very beginning of this pregnancy, not really knowing what I should do. For a long time I had felt as though I had not been receiving any answers or guidance from Heavenly Father. I just knew that the option was there but wasn't sure what I was supposed to do or whether I could handle it emotionally.
Since I have begun to seriously consider placing my baby for adoption, things have just been falling into place. There have been many tiny miracles that have happened both physically and emotionally for me and my family, and now I know that the Lord has guided me throughout this process.
I was given Braden and Jen's profile and had looked at it in detail several times. One night, just before Christmas, I said yet another prayer for confirmation that adoption was the right choice. A short time later, when I looked at their profile pictures again, the spirit came over me and that's when I knew they were the family for my baby boy.
I have already spoken on the phone with them and met them in person. I feel like in just this short time that I know them and that we have the potential of being great friends. My family and I feel as if we knew them before coming to earth and this is all part of God's eternal plan. I know Braden and Jen will give this baby boy the loving home he needs and I am truly excited for them!
I love you all and I hope you will support me in this decision and that you can put everyone involved in your prayers.
Since I have begun to seriously consider placing my baby for adoption, things have just been falling into place. There have been many tiny miracles that have happened both physically and emotionally for me and my family, and now I know that the Lord has guided me throughout this process.
I was given Braden and Jen's profile and had looked at it in detail several times. One night, just before Christmas, I said yet another prayer for confirmation that adoption was the right choice. A short time later, when I looked at their profile pictures again, the spirit came over me and that's when I knew they were the family for my baby boy.
I have already spoken on the phone with them and met them in person. I feel like in just this short time that I know them and that we have the potential of being great friends. My family and I feel as if we knew them before coming to earth and this is all part of God's eternal plan. I know Braden and Jen will give this baby boy the loving home he needs and I am truly excited for them!
I love you all and I hope you will support me in this decision and that you can put everyone involved in your prayers.
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