The Adventure Continues

As we were preparing for Christmas, I found myself saying to Bryan, "Just think, next year we will be somewhere completely new, with our little family, enjoying the holidays together, reflecting on the year passed."  I knew change was coming, I did not expect it to come this quickly.  It is amazing to me, when we do our best to do what is right, and make wise decisions, putting our trust in Lord, how things that seem so big and scary, just fall into place.

As you have probably figured out, Bryan has finished his degree, all except a class that was neglected by his guidance counselor, that he found out, during finals week, he needed to have taken in order to graduate.  This is after his counselor insisted he did not need it.  Luckily, this class has nothing to do with his area of study, and he can take it online.

Over the last several months, Bryan and I have been considering our options, trying to decide where and what we wanted to do when we got to this point in his schooling.  At first, we were planning on Bryan going on to get his Master's in Medical Physics, from an accredited school.  That would take us out of the state of Utah.  Over the course of time, that plan has been changed. Instead, Bryan would like to find a job right away, and build stability for the family.  Okay, so that was our plan.

The next step would be deciding where we wanted to be. It was decided that we wanted somewhere it didn't snow, yet something new (Arizona and California off the list). That is when we decided on Texas.  I was still willing to go other places, but in my heart of hearts, I knew it was where I wanted to be.  Come to find out, there are a lot of jobs in the science industry over there.  And actually, in all his research of what is available in Texas, he has become interested in Nuclear Physics instead.  He would love to work at a power plant.

It seems since we made this decision, everything has fallen into place. We have become very interested in Houston. We have applied for an apartment, and we find out either Monday, or Tuesday if we get it.  If that happens, we will be moving the following week. The apartment is huge, compared to here, and for nearly the same price.  We are very excited for the warmer weather, and just simply starting a new life.

I will have to take a lot of my rehabilitation into my own hands, which has me a little worried.  But, I think I can do it.  I plan on taking Kolo on walks, and taking advantage of the weather.  I also look forward to the extra space for my yoga mat, and having room to do some of my PT exercises I learned in PT. Not to mention, I will be cleaning my own apartment still.  It is my hope I will continue lose weight, and gain more stamina. We plan on taking my manual chair out of the van, and have me use my crutches a lot more often when we go places.

I am going to miss my neighbors, our family, our ward, and dear forever friends here in Salt Lake.  I will miss my doctors and the convenience of the hospital.  I will miss my amazing Physical Therapist who has become a very close friend.  Not to mention, this will take us further from my family in Arizona. But, it is just that time to open the next chapter in the story of life. I will not miss the snow.  I will not miss the cold.  I will not miss the cinder block walls!

I am excited for this new adventure that awaits.  I am thrilled to see what Heavenly Father has in store.  I know, wherever we go, we have our little family, and we have the knowledge of the gospel, in knowing that if we strive to do what is best, then what lays in store will be better than we have ever imagined!  So I say, let the next adventure begin!

He Will Bring You Peace

Sometimes when you think that life
Is at it's very worst
A lot of pain can be forgotten
If you put your Savior first

He can turn the night to day
He can wash away your pain
And in the times that you feel numb
He can make you feel joy again

So remember in the depths of sorrow
When the pain seems much too deep
You can find hope in tomorrow
And He will bring you peace.

Melody Weight, January 11, 2009

To Tyler's parents: It has been a year since we got together and had lunch, and met in person for the first time. I know, I have too good of a memory. I cannot believe the year it has been. Thank you for being my hope in tomorrow. Thank you for being my angels sent from heaven. I know that I have been blessed with many angels in my life over the last year, and I continue to see the miracles on a day to day basis. I feel as though, the blessing of that remarkable little boy, in being able to carry him, and deliver him to you, I was able to see a glimpse of eternity. Maybe I shouldn't have posted this little note to you on my blog, but I wanted the world to know where my thoughts of this poem were rooted from.

They really are the sweetest little family ever!


Being a mom, raising two precious Spirits, I feel as though I am blessed with a glimpse of eternity every single day. Of course, with how difficult children can be, sometimes the only way to get through the trying days, is that eternal perspective!

2008: A Year of Miracles

I haven't blogged in forever, and I figure I should inform the world we are still alive. I feel so blessed. What an amazing year this has been. It is incredible to me to think that it was just over a year ago, I made the life changing decision of adoption. I have learned so much about myself this year. I have learned I am able to make good decisions, and trust the guidance of the Lord in the things I do. I have learned just how much stronger I am than I ever before realized.

In light of recent events, I cannot help but express that I feel my life has come full circle. So many of the difficult trials from recent years, have turned to blessings and have become closed doors in a web of many microscopic miracles intertwined in the madness of my life.

2008 could not possibly be any better than it has become. I hope the New Year finds you all blessed and watchful of the future. May we use our spiritual eyes and see the blessings in the trials the Lord holds in store for us this year.

Being Content

The sunset from Main Street, here in town.

A couple of weeks ago, our Relief Society president gave a lesson in Relief Society about being content. She proposed a lot of questions about what makes us content in the world we live in. Life is full of so many dramatics and business, that a lot of times, we don't get time for us and end up running around like crazy chickens running from a puppy in the chicken coupe.

Simplicity. More often than not, the things that make us happy are simple things. She gave us fridge magnets with a blank list on it to fill in what makes us content so that we can write them down, and use them when we need a break. She pointed out that there are spiritual things, and non spiritual things that make us content.

I have been wondering around my house all morning. I realized one of the things that really does make me massively content is music. I have had my ipod on, litterally for hours now, and I am listening to Michael McLean. I have been completely able to block out the rest of the world and just indulge in his music. I don't know if it is how I was raised, or not. I do know that I used to spend hours in my room as a teen and lay on my bed and just listen to music.

When I was in high school, and I had a really bad day, I was dealing with the death of a friend, my parents divorce and keeping up on school work. I was completely distraught. I went and talked to my mom and the first thing she did was send me to my room! Yeah, she grounded me! I laid down on my bed and she turned on one of my Michael McLean CD's. I laid there and listened for a long time, until I felt better. Like magic.

Even through the hardest times in my life, I always turned to the same places. In my own divorce, and another divorce, and being a single mom, and placing a baby for adoption, I always turned to music. After I came home from the hospital in March, as figured, I couldn't sleep, afraid to close my eyes and see my baby's face, then cry myself to sleep. But then I would take my ipod to bed with me, and listen to "Hope Hiding There" "Delivery" "No" and "Something Perfect" (see my playlist on the right) over and over, until I fell asleep. I remember, my mom told me not to do that, that it was making me sad, and cry but really, it was what I needed to be content in my life.

More often than not, once you find your refuge, you make it through the hard times, and before you know it, you are looking back, and realize you made it through. I had that experience last night. It has been one year to the day, being yesterday, since Ben walked out. I remember that night vividly, wondering how in the world am I going to get through this. And now, all of the sudden, I realize I have. Life moves on, and I am more than happy, and most of all, content.

A Home for Christmas

I cannot believe how much this little family has been blessed in such a short amount of time. Since the decision to move to this small town, soooo many things have fallen into place, and we have been blessed little by little. I don't even know where to begin! Let's start with being close to family. I absolutely love being by my sister! She and I were best friends when I was in high school, and I feel like we have been able to rebuild that. (Of course, she will tell you we were only best friends because she got a car, and started driving me places *don't worry, she's kidding, although it helped!*) We talk everyday. She helps me so much. She has helped me find in home help (like Eliza was, back in California), she has helped me move in, ran errands, and most importantly, she has been here for me to talk to. Some of you know, I have certain personal battles I am facing right now, and tough decisions ahead. Cass has been my rock, and the ONE person I can really depend on to understand completely. It is amazing how different it is having a friend in front of you, or a phone call away down the street to be a listening ear. The next major blessing is the place we live. First of all, it is smaller than the apartment in Sandy, which has positives and negatives. Smaller corners, so it is harder to manipulate my chair, but it is less to clean. When I first moved in I was really worried about having room for everything in my kitchen, but still to this day, I feel like the Lord is miraculously making everything fit in this little apartment. It has really been a blessing. A major part of the blessing is the owners of the complex. It is a small town, it's not part of some big property monopoly, nope. The owners are a couple native to the town who just enjoy being landlords. They call it their hobby, not their job. They are even in my ward. Anyway, when I first moved in, we asked about one handrail in the bathroom, he put in three. I told him I knick corners with my chair, he put in corner protectors. I told him I was worried about the doorways, he said, "Well, we may widen them, it wouldn't be that hard, we have done it before." When I first did my walk through, she was worried I would be disappointed because the carpet is old and wasn't shampooed after the last tenant (who moved to the next building and only lived here 3 months). Those of you who know me, know I am extremely GRATEFUL the carpet wasn't new or stainless. I always have SO much guilt when it comes to the carpet and my wheelchair staining it. This time, it is one less thing I have to worry about. OH... also during my first walkthrough, Cass and I were talking to Denise(the landlord), and mentioned I was going to buy bunkbeds for the girls. Well, we didn't have too. Denise and Mike had some, from when the complex was for college students, and we got them for free. They even came over and put them up for me. It has really been a positive experience living here. If I have ANY problems at all, they are here. The girls love Mike (one of the landlords, the husband) they call him Uncle Mike (plus, I think it's funny he looks like my Uncle Joe, only shorter). The other night he came over to help me with my internet, and Laci was sick, he poked in her room in the midst of the puke and caos and said, "Are you sure there isn't anything else I can do?" Now on to the church. I was really having a negative experience with the church in Sandy. People were just not there for me, in a very hard time in my life. I have only been in this apartment, and in this ward for thirteen days, and I am so overwelmed with love and gratitude for these people. They have offered to give me rides to church and activities, in fact they insist. My Relief Society Presidency has been over to my house both Sundays to talk and see if we need anything. We have already been brought three meals. I didn't even request it. They just said, "We will be bringing you meals twice a week you can freeze for when you need them. There is a lady on bedrest above you, due in January, and we are doing it for her. It is just the right thing to do, it can't be easy for you either." Okay then! We went to the Ward Christmas dinner this week (by way of ride with someone in the ward of course) and it was great. The couple who gave us a ride, sat by us, and helped with the girls. There wasn't that pressure to be a perfect mom anymore. Also, they sent us home with the leftovers from the turkey dinner. Needless to say, my freezer is full and ready for my down days (we all know I have a lot). Just when you think it couldn't get any better, something else happens. It's funny, a month or two ago I was saying the opposite. Just when you think it couldn't get any worse... Did I mention, Sammie's new kindergarten teacher grew up in Sandy in our old ward, and knows her old teacher? That is a huge blessing. I don't know if she did yet, but was going to call up her old teacher and get the scoop on Sam. And they have requested already to test her for speech and other delays. The speech therapist has put a call in to Sam's preschool in CA requesting her IEP. Hopefully, Sam will finally get the help here in Utah she deserves, since the school district in Sandy took her out of Special Ed. Other school news, Laci was tested for preschool on Friday. If she gets in, she will be bussed everyday to a nearby town for preschool. It would be fantastic for her. Even though, right now she is in a rut as far as potty training, (all the changes triggered digression) I really feel that she is also being blessed behind the scenes with everything else. While I have been sitting here, I have been watching the snow fall. The snow falling has gone from, not sticking to the cement outside, to sticking and the entire parking lot out my window is white. Even though I can't get anywhere when sidewalks aren't shoveled, the Lord is still providing a way for things to happen that need to. Sam has a ride to school everyday, even though it is across the street. The girls and I put up our little Christmas tree Thursday night. We did it all by ourselves. The Christmas tree, and the nativity set is pretty much all we have out right now, but what more do you need? Even though, it's insane to move right in the midst of the holidays. Even though we won't have much under our tree this year. To me, it just feels nice to finally be home for Christmas. We have eachother, and good people around us, that's all this little family needs. Happy Holidays.