#24: Laci

Laci is my good thing today.  She is so amazing.  All my children are, in their own ways. Laci is the prime definition of middle child.  Her older sister gets a lot of attention for how much responsibility she takes on, and the younger ones get a lot of attention because they are toddlers.

We as parents, love them all, and do our best, but I think she often feels stuck in the middle.

Tonight, she stayed up the latest.  And I really enjoyed our one-on-one talk.

Laci is growing up and so intelligent.  She has a great logic, and I love the way she thinks and the ideas she comes up with.  Today she said it would be great if there was something to make it so we didn't have to clean at all.  She is always coming up with crazy ideas, and the way she gets to the final product just brings a big smile to my face.

She is also an excellent entertainer!  Her giggle is contagious, and though she may be shy with those she doesn't know, she is the biggest clown I know.  With both her little brother and sister, she is the first to make them laugh.  It is her daily goal in life, to make them laugh.  And she will do absolutely anything to accomplish it.

She loves fun, and hates work.  In our family, we work together to pull the load around the house.  She struggles with it, but never gives up.  She has the biggest heart, her emotions are deep and strong in all directions.

I can't wait to watch her grow and see who she becomes as she develops and uses all these traits for good!

Three Things I am grateful for:
1. Play & Pretend at the library. It was our first time- so much fun!
2. Beautiful weather!  We spent time outside, and Kayla finally has figured out how to peddle her bike.  Too bad it doesn't keep her attention for more than thirty seconds! :)
3. I am grateful to live here.  Where I am, right now.  Yes, sometimes it is hard, it isn't super close to the bus, and that bus only runs a 5 days a week/6am-6pm. But after today, and the friendships strengthened with neighbors, and friendships created, I am feeling really blessed!

One Good Thing #21

One Good thing that happened today: Sam had a friend over today who said I was cool! But better yet, it was a great feeling to hear them laughing from the other room. My girl deserves the downtime!

3 things I am grateful for:
1. A nine year old willing to clean up sister's accident because mom was busy
2. The ability to kiss and snuggle an accident-prone 1 year old all better.
3. 5 min family home evening lessons from The Friend.

One Good Thing #15

Today is Jayce's official birthday.  I can't believe it.  Where has the year gone?  I love this little boy so much, and I can't picture life without him.  One of the highlights of my day, was this afternoon.  Everyone was outside squirting each other with spray bottles, Jayce was on the grass in the play pen, with a basin of water and some water balls.  He was so excited and soaked.  It brought great joy to my heart seeing all four of my kids play, even with the large gaps in age.  It makes me wonder what life will be like when they are older.

Three Things I am Grateful For:
1. Slobbery Baby Kisses. (You know, where they open their mouth and pretty much slime your face)
2. Kayla totally rinsed the dishes today.  She got out the step stool, climbed up to the sink, and rinsed the unrinsed dishes, then moved them to the other side of the sink, with the rest of the already rinsed dishes.  Cutest little helper ever.  I gave her 5 pennies and lots of hugs.
3. You know the water fight?  It was during that play time Sam managed. I didn't have to do a thing.  So grateful for her!

Good Thing Day 11

Today we celebrated Jayce's Birthday with Grandma and Grandpa Clayton.  I can't believe he will be one in just a few days.  It was fun to watch him eat his cake.  We gave him his birthday presents today too.  I love watching him play with his little plastic golf set!  He gets soooooo excited to hit the ball!

3 Things I am Grateful for:
1.  Little Boys - I LOVE having a son.  It is the best.  I am so glad he was saved for last!
2. Simple things.  He loves playing simple things, like golf and just throwing a ball.  Girls are more complicated
3. I am grateful for Bryan. He took care of dinner tonight, and serving up the birthday cake, AND cleaning up Jayce after.

He Will Bring You Peace

Sometimes when you think that life
Is at it's very worst
A lot of pain can be forgotten
If you put your Savior first

He can turn the night to day
He can wash away your pain
And in the times that you feel numb
He can make you feel joy again

So remember in the depths of sorrow
When the pain seems much too deep
You can find hope in tomorrow
And He will bring you peace.

Melody Weight, January 11, 2009

To Tyler's parents: It has been a year since we got together and had lunch, and met in person for the first time. I know, I have too good of a memory. I cannot believe the year it has been. Thank you for being my hope in tomorrow. Thank you for being my angels sent from heaven. I know that I have been blessed with many angels in my life over the last year, and I continue to see the miracles on a day to day basis. I feel as though, the blessing of that remarkable little boy, in being able to carry him, and deliver him to you, I was able to see a glimpse of eternity. Maybe I shouldn't have posted this little note to you on my blog, but I wanted the world to know where my thoughts of this poem were rooted from.

They really are the sweetest little family ever!


Being a mom, raising two precious Spirits, I feel as though I am blessed with a glimpse of eternity every single day. Of course, with how difficult children can be, sometimes the only way to get through the trying days, is that eternal perspective!

He Won't Let Me Fail Them

I wasn't going to blog about this. But I think I need to, just to get it out. Minus a few really bright spots in my week, this week has been really dark and hard for me. Usually by the time I am done writing, it turns to something positive, so hopefully that will happen.

Last Sunday was complete chaos at church. Laci was absolutely rambunctious in sacrament meeting. At one point, she needed to go to the bathroom. Usually I send her with Sammie. So that is what I did. Well that didn't work, they got out the door and Sammie came back in, saying Laci wanted me. So I got up, without thinking and started walking toward the door to help the situation. The next thing I know I am face planted on the floor in the middle of the isle. A few people offered to help me up. I got up and walked outside, I was so embarassed. I took Laci to the bathroom, luckily some ladies from the ward came in to check on us. Laci was refusing to even go in the stall and go to the bathroom. Then she put up a fight when we tried to go back in and I didn't have my chair.

She continued to be wiggly through the rest of sacrament, I was glad when it was finally over.

Then, 5 minutes before RS started, Laci was finally convinced to go to primary. She kept throwing a tantrum on the floor in the middle of the primary room. It was absolutely horrible. She hasn't been going to primary very well at all lately, and I have given up on knowing what to do anymore.

Tuesday was my birthday party, look at my previous blog for that. It was one of the highlights of my week.

When I got home Tuesday night, my throat started hurting again. By the end of the night, my voice was gone. I went to bed and woke up the next morning, all congested with a fever. Though the congestion has died down, my voice is still shot. But yay, I got a cold without turning dreadfully ill!

Wednesday was my birthday, and spent it sick. I didn't leave the house. But I have awesome friends, it was still a great day.

Thursday, I continued to be sick, I just relaxed, and just let Laci hang out and do her thing all day, the house was trashed by the end of the day. But I do think that is one reason why I am better now. I RELAXED.

That night, JoAnn came and helped me clean, YAY! And the RS stopped over. They asked me if i wanted help in church. I told them I would think about it. I need the help, I know. And I know, they aren't trying to judge me at all, and they just see a need. They are willing to sit with us and take Laci out if she needs too. But I just feel so inadequate. Laci is so big now, and strong, that I cannot battle her anymore. I feel unfit, and just not up to the challenge. I am trying really hard to remember that the Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle, but this week has been hard for me.

I am not one that usually gets down easy, in fact I am being really out of character by posting this. I went and talked to my institute teacher on Friday, he gave me a blessing and some counsel. He reminded me of the words of Gordon B. Hinckley, that single mothers of young children have the hardest job there is, and that there is no way it is done without angels and constant care of a loving Heavenly Father.

I know that is true, everyone who reads my blog, knows I know that is true.

Tonight, Laci took a dry erase marker to the wall in their room, and I hit a breaking point. If it is not one thing, it's another. I need a break. I just want to get away and clear my head. It has just been a very trying week for me. I don't even want to go to church tomorrow. I know He will carry me through, He always does. I just need to be patient and keep going. Laci starts school Monday. That will give me some relief. But, I still think a break would be good.

He loves me, I will make it. He loves my girls, as much as I do, and I know He would not have entrusted them to me, if I was not capable of fulfilling that calling. Motherhood is the most important thing to me I have. I am so grateful to be a mom, and given a fair opportunity to raise these special spirits. The Lord knows what He is doing, even if I have no clue how to get through some days. But I will. And that is what matters.

A friend of mine from HS sent me a quote in an email on Facebook earlier this week. It has been a good reminder for me.

“Please remember one thing. If our lives and our faith are centered upon Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong. On the other hand, if our lives are not centered on the Savior and his teachings, no other success can ever be permanently right.”(President Howard W. Hunter)

Even though, I may feel like somewhat of a failure today, He disagrees, and He won't let me fail them.

See, I told you it would have a happy ending.

He Sends Me Angels

I can't believe it has been one year since I married Ben, and nine months since he walked out. Though, this year has not been anything like I expected, I feel so blessed and grateful to be where I am today.

I remember being in the temple one year ago, getting ready to be sealed, and having the overwelming feeling that my family (on both sides of the veil) was watching over me, and very aware of what was happening in my life. That experience has been one of those things that has gotten me through this year. I know I have never been alone, and I know I never will be.

This year has been hard, I will not deny that. Carrying a baby for nine months and taking care of two energetic girls and myself on my own(with the help of the Lord) has not been easy. Making the decision to place my little boy for adoption, and following through with that decision is the hardest thing I have ever (and hopefully will ever) face. But, I have been blessed with good people in my life, a new start in a new town, a friendly and loving ward, good friends, family and neighbors. I wouldn't change it for the world.

I have had many people say to me "I don't know how you do it, Melody. I take care of my kids by myself for one night and I go crazy, you do it every day." The truth is, I have never really felt alone. I know it is not me getting myself through each day but it's the faith and knowledge that I will be carried through. There are some nights when I lay my head to my pillow and think to myself, "how did I get through today?" There is only one answer to that question.

He sends me angels.

Mother's Day

This day has never meant so much to me before. The past few months have been an eye opening experience regarding the sacred splendor of motherhood. I enjoy my girls. They are so sweet. I cannot help but think of Tyler. I can't help but picture him at church with his family today, and the pride that fill Jen's heart to know she IS a mother now. I gave that to her. Though I miss him, it is a bittersweet day.

I can't help but think of the precious moments I had with him on that last night in the hospital. It was 3 am, and all there was, was him and I. The rest of the world was locked outside. For a moment, time stopped. He was mine, and only mine. But his father in heaven had a plan for him. Father in heaven had a plan for me. Though I do not know what lies ahead, I do know that in those moments, I got a glimpse of eternity. I will forever be grateful for those moments.

I will forever be grateful for Tyler, and for his parents who are now raising him with such powerful love and devotion.

I will forever be grateful for my beautiful daughters. And for the gift of a mother's love which I possess. I am glad to share that gift with Jen, and she is now enjoying it on this beautiful day.

Funny Story

Before I forget.....

The girls are home from school today "resting" because they are both congested. I came into the office early this morning to do a few things on the computer with my ITunes and the girls are watching PBS. A few minutes later, Laci comes running into me. She yells, "Hey Guys! Breakfast!"

I go out to the kitchen and discover Laci's surprise. She had gotten out the cocoa puffs, milk, and paper bowls. She was in the process of getting out the spoons. She had poured cereal into all 3 bowls AND soy milk(bleh) in each one too! My 3 year old made breakfast this morning!! Then she handed Sam and I each our spoons and sat down and ate.

It really was the cutest thing ever. I am impressed she didn't make a big mess. We will need to work on the soy milk in mommy's bowl for next time.

I have fantastic kids!